In loving memory of Kirsten, Steve, and Kim. Thank you for helping me find my gift.
As a Christian I have taken a lot of “spiritual gift” surveys over the years. Healing, mercy, helps, and faith usually show up. Recently, I have been thinking about the good and hard parts of these gifts. You see, I have an ease and comfort with some REALLY hard things. Like death and grief. I can sit with someone else’s pain for a long time. I can walk with people through the hardest crap life has thrown at them. Is it easy for me? No way. Does it rip my heart out? Absolutely. Do I find pleasure in the suffering? Of course not. But I am good at it, like really good. I can compartmentalize my own fear and sadness to support others. I can process my own grief and sorrow, and create space for others to do the same. I just seem to know what people need, innately know whether they need a hug, or tough love, or silence. When I am in that zone it is a truly spiritual experience. I know I am walking in my purpose. I know it is what God wants me to do. But then comes the hard… The sadness sets in, it all feels too much, everything feels heavy. And then I wonder why God would want my gifts to carry so much hard. Thank goodness for my gift of faith, for that is what really pulls me through those times.
I hope you all can find your gifts, even if they carry some hard. The world needs you, all of you. Have you found your gifts?
