by Dan | Nov 7, 2016 | All Essential
We’ve always had a musical household, which is kind of funny since Kami and I aren’t very musical at all. It started when Megan was in kindergarten and wanted to play violin. After a few years she switched to piano and then added clarinet in fourth grade. When Christian was in kindergarten he started piano with Megan’s teacher and moved to drums in first grade.
During this time, Jeffrey didn’t really seem to have any interest at all with playing a musical instrument and we were ok with that. However, our awesome piano teacher, Kara, was going back to school for music therapy and offered to give Jeffrey some lessons as part of her program. Of course he was excited to get started since he could be like his brother and sister.
They started with the basics of beat and rhythm, and Jeffrey couldn’t wait for Kara to come back each week. She would bring her djembe and guitar and they would have a blast. At the same time, Christian’s drum teacher gave Jeffrey his old bass guitar. He would walk around the house strumming that sucker and singing at the top of his lungs. The problem was that it was too long and heavy for him, and he kept banging it into all of the doorframes and walls.
So we decided for his 11th birthday we would give him a guitar. (It was my old guitar that I used when I was taking lessons for a few months before Christian was born.) He was so excited! He didn’t take this guitar off his shoulder for what seemed like days. And since he was now in middle school, he would be able to play in the Junior High Band at our church. Fortunately, we had some wonderful band directors who allowed Jeffrey to practice each week and perform at the various services. They never plugged him in since he wasn’t really playing anything, just strumming along to the beat.
As he received his lessons each week, Kara would tell how sharp he was getting. He knew the notes and the chords, and could tell when she would make mistakes on purpose. The problem was that his fine motor skills couldn’t keep up with what his brain knew. We were all kind of resigned to the fact that this might be the best he would play and were just happy that he was happy.
In the meantime, Jeffrey basically spent his free time with his iPad and headphones playing his guitar and singing. We would hear him sing and play his guitar all the time, but it was more like noise than music (I can say that since he’s my kid.) Then one day we noticed that he was constantly on a website called “Worship Tutorials.” He would watch the videos on how to play his favorite songs. This was the greatest thing to Jeffrey because it combined his two favorite things, worship music and guitar!
As the middle school was winding down, we knew there might be a problem. Jeffrey dreamt of playing in the Senior High Band at church. But with his limited ability, we needed to come up with a plan. With the help of the band director, Dawn, we decided that the best chance for him to perform was by playing the djembe, something that he was good at and could do without really disturbing the rest of the band.
But one day this summer, something changed. One morning as we were sipping coffee, we heard something unusual – and it was the sweetest noise I ever heard. Jeffrey was truly playing the guitar! As we spied on him, we could see his fingers playing the right chords and it sounded like a real song. It just clicked. If you know Jeffrey’s story, you’ll know this is not abnormal at all. He struggled all of his life with the “milestone” moments, but once he “got it” he was secure in that skill. For instance, Jeffrey didn’t walk until he was 19 months old. He didn’t do the typical take a few steps and fall down thing. He got up one day and just walked! It also happened with talking, swinging, reading, and now the guitar!
This led to us back to the Senior High Band. With his new ability to play a real song, he was determined to play guitar at church. So we had Dawn come over to hear him play. She was amazed at how much progress he had made. We all decided it would be a good idea for him to go to practice with the band so he could get a feel for being a part of the group and hear them all play. The plan was for him to sit out the service, but since he was doing so well, Dawn allowed him to play the final song. Boy was he excited! All day he was practicing that one song, and when it was time to play, he walked on stage like he owned the place.
The next week he practiced with the band with no promises of playing at the service. But once it was over, Dawn informed us that Jeffrey could play all five songs! If there was anything higher than “Cloud Nine,” he would have been on it! So when the big night came, he didn’t disappoint. He still wasn’t plugged in, but he was able to learn all five new songs and play with confidence and competence. He wasn’t just a “throw in” member, he was truly part of the band. As he played his last song and raised his hand to praise God, tears filled our eyes as we watched our little boy become a Rockstar!
Here he is in action!!
https://youtu.be/_hl0RRmF2dk
by Kami | Oct 28, 2016 | All Essential, Life
I found my first gray hair around age 19 or 20, I tease Dan that it all started when I first met him ;). I had a few and they never really bothered me because I could just pull out the random hairs. I would dye my hair but more for the fun of it, my mom always let me explore with hair coloring from a very young age. I loved highlights especially during the summer.
I chose not to dye my hair when I was pregnant with my oldest due to the toxins and it was then I realized just how gray I was around my temples. I have a few pictures from that time and I had two stripes of gray down the side of my head! After seeing those pics, I religiously dyed my hair for the next 15+ years.
The change came on gradually. The feeling of relaxation I used to have when I went to the salon gave way to burden. I knew every single month that I would spend two (or more) hours in the chair and drop $200 a pop. When I was feeling especially sick of it I would mention going gray to my hairdresser or friends and they all said the same thing, “You are too young!”. I would let the feeling fade only to resurface after a few months. I started to feel like I was spending an awful lot of my time and attention on how I looked on the outside, while telling my kids they needed to focus on the inside. Listen, I have nothing against caring about looking nice, but for me, I felt like I wasn’t living up to the lessons I was teaching my children. For some unknown reason I went gray early but that doesn’t take away anything about who I am, nor should it change the way people think of me, right?
A year ago I dyed my hair for the very last time, although I didn’t know it! In November I woke up one day and I just knew that I was done! Done dyeing my hair, done sitting in the chair for hours, done spending the equivalent of a car payment on the upkeep, and done caring about being 40 and gray. I told my family over dinner and they were all horrified! Funny, though, with their less that stellar attempts at support, my resolve grew!! I was so excited to be me, gray and ALL!
I have to tell you, I still walk by mirrors and wonder if I have done the right thing. My reflection shocks me from time to time! But overall, I am so grateful that I made this decision. I have proved to myself that looks just don’t matter, truly they don’t, not one bit. I love the 30 minute haircut I get every 8 weeks along with all the awesome responses I get from the older generation. Most people are very supportive and actually tell me how brave I am. But it wasn’t bravery that brought me here, that is reserved for those doing really brave things like fighting cancer or surviving traumas, it was just time to stop trying to cover up the crown God intended for me!
Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained in the way of righteousness
Proverbs 16:31
by Dan | Oct 18, 2016 | All Essential
What do you have to lose?
Getting old stinks. Let me rephrase that – getting OLDER stinks. I don’t think I’m old, and up until the last few years, I didn’t feel old. But there were signs of it coming – creaky joints in the morning, the heavy eyes at 2:00pm, taking longer to recover after a workout (or a night out). I tried to ignore the signs, but had to come to that realization that I needed to do something different. And you know what they say, “You can’t beat Father Time.”
For the past five years, I have run a spring marathon, which means my training is basically all winter long. For 16 weeks, you have a specific training plan to follow and illness or injury can be a big problem both physically and psychologically. Runners DO NOT like to miss workouts. It really messes with your head. In the first four of those years, something would inevitably happen to sidetrack my plan. It could have been a cold or cough of some sort of lingering muscular discomfort.
So after hearing Kami tell me about methods to help support my running, I finally decided to listen. “What do I have to lose?” I thought. She had been using the Lifelong Vitality Pack and other oils each morning, whereas I was only using them when something specific would arise. Supplements are for old people, and I wasn’t old. But I reluctantly decided to give it a shot.
So after Christmas last year when my official training for the Boston Marathon began, I started on a daily regimen – Lifelong Vitality, Deep Blue Complex, Mito2Max Complex, a drop of Frankincense, and a drop of On Guard each morning. What happened next was pretty awesome. I did not miss a single workout all winter. Not only that, my recovery time post-workout decreased, I had more mental alertness as the day wore on with less muscle soreness.
But all of this would mean nothing to me unless it produced some results on the the roads. And boy did it. I ran a personal best in the marathon by over 3 minutes, and in the 5K by 40 seconds. I attribute these running results to the fact that I was on the road for more miles during training than I had ever done before. And I know I was able to run all those extra miles because of the support I received from the doTERRA regimen I was on.
I know there are people who don’t think much of essential oils, and up until a few years ago I thought the same thing. But if you are looking for a way to maintain or support a healthy lifestyle, whether you are a runner or not, I’ll ask you one question, “What do you have to lose?”
by Dan | Oct 3, 2016 | All Essential, Spirituality
In 2014, Dan was asked to give the “Father’s Day Message” to my church. Here is the transcript of his message. I hope you enjoy.
“Nope, No way, not gonna happen.” It might not be what comes out of my mouth, but its definitely what I’m thinking when I’m asked to do something. I’m pretty sure you’re probably thinking, “What is Dan talking about? He’s in like a million different things at church.” That’s the funny thing – how did I get here when my first instinct is to say no. If I had MY way, I’d be doing something else (most likely running for ME, not God). It’s actually a running joke at home that if you want something, don’t ask daddy! He’ll say no. Just ask them. I say no A LOT. Not sure why I do it, but I do. I’m also not a big fan of change. So if you ask me to do something, you may hear “Let me get back to you. I’ll think about it,” or since it’s church it’s more like, “I’ll pray about it,” but typically I just want to be left to do, what I want to do.
Just getting up here today took a while for me to make a decision. When Doug asked me in his asking voice – “Dan Schaal!” I knew something was up. Like a parent who uses your middle name when you’re in trouble, Doug always uses my last name when he asks me for something! I nodded and said I’d pray about it, but I had already decided before he finished asking. Nope, no way, not gonna happen. I’ve always wondered if he would ask me to give the message, and each year I think about what I would say if he did? But now that I was actually asked, I wanted NO part of it. Who wants to hear my story? What do I have to offer? And just think about the men who stood here before me giving their message. How was I ever going to follow in their footsteps? The list was pretty impressive and I was scared. And then I remembered who spoke last year – Mike Womack – and I realized I couldn’t be worse then him!! But after a week of actually praying and thinking and talking with Kami, I knew I had a message to share. I thought about the other times in my life that I’d been presented with a choice that I’d initially said no to, and how with prayer and time, they changed to a yes. And as I reflected on those times, I can’t imagine where I would be as a father, husband, man, and Christian, if I didn’t.
But instead of starting at the beginning, I’m going to take you in reverse, starting with last weekend. RUN FOR GOD! What a day, what an event, but most importantly, what a journey. You have no idea how proud I am of my new running family. As many of you know, I run. A lot. And this past winter I was training for the Gettysburg Marathon in an attempt to qualify for the Boston Marathon again. As a lot of the new runners will share, having a strict running schedule becomes pretty burdensome. Marathon workouts were pretty intense and time-consuming, and you can’t miss a run. So when Kami “asked” me to be a coach for RFG I said Nope, no way, not gonna happen. They can do it without me. I mean there were already 9 other coaches! I needed a break. I was suffering from runner’s burnout and just wanted to have a few hours to myself on Sunday afternoon. But apparently she had already volunteered me. I begrudgingly came to the planning sessions, not really into it, just listening and cracking bad jokes. Even though I was there in body, i wasn’t there in spirit. And then the bible study and training sessions started. Something changed. Listening to the stories of these new runners, their fears, their past, their struggles, recharged my batteries. I never really thought my running ability was a gift God would use, but he was. I trained with more passion because now that I was a “coach” I needed to not only talk the talk, but walk the walk, or in this case run the run. So when the day of the Gettysburg Marathon came, I ran not only for me, but for those who were supporting me, and of course God. When I was struggling those last 6 miles, as you often do in a marathon, I thought about those ladies from my Thursday training group, how I couldn’t let YOU down. And I prayed. A LOT. Mostly to make the pain in my knees stop. But prayed for Him to give me the strength to finish well. And he delivered. I finished with a time good enough to get me back into the Boston Marathon. And then I prayed some more for a quick recovery! So thank you, Hillary, Helen, Kim, and the rest of my girls for inspiring me.
It was the summer of 2010. I had been enjoying the last three years in the Tuesday morning Einstein men’s group, led by Doug. We had gotten a little larger than the original 8, and sometimes it was tough with so many people. But I loved the group, especially because if it was your turn to lead and you messed up, Doug would correct you and then pretty much take over. And I messed up a lot because its tough leading a Bible Study when the pastor is with you. But one morning in the parking lot as we were heading to the car, Doug strolled up and said “Dan Schaal, have you thought about branching off and starting a new group?” First instinct in that parking lot, was Nope, no way, not gonna happen. I told him I’d pray about it, but my mind was already made up. He was going to have to ask someone else. I really didn’t want to move. I liked my Tuesdays, liked the people, and really didn’t feel comfortable leading a group when I felt inferior in my bible knowledge. But when I shared it with Kami, she was all for it. Kami’s work schedule had changed and getting up so early to watch the kids was becoming tough on Grammie Cyndy, who lives with us. Because I really loved this group, Cyndy never told me how it was affecting her, so when I found this out, it became a no-brainer to change days and start a new group. Now I was a little nervous, not knowing if anyone would join, but my buddy Scott burgess made the switch too, and in a few months were were at a steady 6 members weekly. (now we’re at 7.5) We’ve become very close, and there’s no other group of guys I could imagine being with. My faith has grown so much during our deep discussions on God and the Bible, and not so deep ones about sports, Charlie Sheen, and Fox News. I’ve been blessed to have these guys in my life.
Christmas time 2007. It had been a very long year and a somber holiday season. Just six months prior on Father’s Day Ralph – Cyndy’s husband and Kami’s step-father – died in a car accident. It was rough on everybody in the family emotionally, but I had some extra burdens. With Ralph gone, there wasn’t another man in the family to help out. So for the rest of that summer and fall, I made the weekly drive to Cyndy’s house in Howell to cut the grass, help around the house, and have lunch – usually Arby’s. Even though I enjoyed the time with Cyndy, it was becoming a pain. And then during a conversation about Cyndy buying a house near us came up. Kami and Cyndy were talking about the positives of her living close. All I could think about was the extra work that I’d be doing – So in a temporary state of insanity, I blurted out “Why don’t we just buy a house with an in-law suite? Ha ha ha.” The idea was ridiculous since we’d just had a major addition put on our house and everything was brand new. I mean everything. But immediately Kami and Cyndy were plotting the move. What was I thinking? I was never going to say yes to having Cyndy moving in with me. Who in their right mind wants to live with his mother-in-law? Nope, no way, not gonna happen. Kami said that if I really didn’t want to do it, she would be ok with it, but she’s a tough one. After weeks of discussions and in many cases arguing, Kami presented a pro-con list. And man were the odds stacked against me. Needless to say, there really wasn’t a “good” reason not to do it. It benefitted us in so many ways, especially having Cyndy there to help take care of the kids. She’s also a great cook! Kami was able to change her work schedule, we got more time together as a couple and a family. It’s been 6 years that we’ve lived together. It took a while to get used to the new living arrangements, one that i NEVER imagined would happen. But God had a plan for my family that was bigger than mine, I couldn’t be happier.
It was the summer of 2006. I was on a plane coming back from the Bahamas Mission trip. Ken parker was the leader and we were discussing how it went. There was a lull in the conversation and I assumed we were going to relax for a little bit. But then he asked if I planned on coming back the next year. I replied “Of course” and he said “good, because I’m not. You’re going to have to lead it.” Say what! He just did the old “Timothy blindside!” Nope, no way, not gonna happen. Ken had been a youth group leader for a long time. Been on a lot of mission trips and planned this one. I’d been a youth group leader for 2 years, been on 2 trips. I was more of a kid than a leader? How was I going to be able to make this commitment? And who would send their children with me? We had just had Christian, and life was crazy. There was no way this was going to happen. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t ready. I was thinking of any excuse possible. I was even going to use Kami! But something interesting happened – Kami was on board if I wanted to do it. Now I had no excuse. So after a few weeks of praying and talking with Kami, Doug, and Ken, I decided to take the leap and lead the trip. It wasn’t easy, but we’ve had a pretty successful run. Next month I will be heading down to the Bahamas for the 10th summer – my 8th as leader. In that time, Woodside has been able to send over 150 missionaries to the island. My YES also inspired a few people in my own house. Megan, as a 10 year old, was a little jealous that she couldn’t go with me, so she recruited Kami to go to the DR together. This summer, my little girl will be going on her 5th and 6th missions trip of her life. I’m so proud of how she has embraced the missionary lifestyle, and has already shared her Mission trip plans for high school and college. Kami was also moved to join us one year and now runs Woodside’s family trip. Christian also can’t wait to get back down there this summer so he can build something cool and paint and stuff. We have truly become a “Family of Faith.”
This leads me to the beginning.
“No. Not true. Can’t be true.” I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. It was Megan’s third birthday. A day of celebration. Jeffrey was almost three months old, but there was something different. We couldn’t put our fingers on it, but we could tell. But this news rocked our world. We had been members of the church for almost three years, and I wasn’t a believer yet, just an attender. But I had started to open my heart to the Lord and was very close to giving myself to him. But not now. The doctor had called and told us that Jeffrey was profoundly deaf in both ears. Are you serious? My little boy, my precious child was profoundly deaf? What kind of life would he have? What kind of life would we have? Why would God do this to us? What did he, what did we do to deserve this? We were good people. We never broke the law, had good jobs, took care of our kids, went to church, volunteered. And for what. THIS? Whatever progress was made getting closer to God was gone. I was farther away than I had ever been. This no would never become a yes. This precious child was being punished for no reason. Wait – GOD was the reason. He was punishing him and me, so he wouldn’t get me.
So I went about life as best as I could. Kami did ALL of the legwork getting Jeffrey everything he needed. She was truly amazing. She also allowed the church in to our lives. Many church members helped in some way, be it helping to get doctors appts, sharing info about kids with hearing loss, or just lending an ear. Kami really benefitted from it. But me, not so much. I just put on a good face. I would smile and try to keep a strong outward appearance, trying not to let many, if any, people into what I was truly feeling. Even though people were constantly reaching out to help and check in on us, I wouldn’t let them in. We still went to church every week, but I was checking my watch waiting to get out as soon as possible. I didn’t want to have to deal with the sad faces, the “how are yous”, and the other parts of dealing with the situation. I just wanted to go home. I wasn’t embarrassed by Jeffrey and his hearing aids, I just felt safer by myself. I could take care of it on my own.
This went on for well over year until Woodside took part in the “40 days of purpose” Sermon series. Kami was very excited to be a part of it and signed us up as a host family. Me – I was not very pleased. I did not want to share and talk about my faith. Especially when I didn’t have any. Nope, no way, not gonna happen. I was not going to take part in it. As I have previously shared, I don’t win these arguments with Kami very often. She dragged me to the opening simulcast and I’ll admit it, I was a little intrigued. Maybe it was Rick Warren’s shirts and chuckle, but He had my ear. I decided that I would do the readings, but i wouldn’t enjoy it. And then came our first small group. The first time in my life that I would have to share how I FELT about God. And I lied. Made believe that I was on board with the whole thing.
But God had a secret weapon in my small group – Carrie Steele. There’s something special about that lady. I don’t know what it is, but she has a way about her. In the midst of all of her and Dave’s struggles, she was able to remain faithful, more faithful than anyone than I had ever met. And if she could love God that much after what they’d been through, maybe I could be more cooperative. My heart began to soften a bit, but He was going to have to work a little harder. And then God brought the hammer. Day 25 – God has a purpose for every problem. I read how God shapes us like jewels with “the hammer and chisel of adversity.” and if the hammer doesn’t work, He will use a sledgehammer. And if we are really stubborn, He uses a jackhammer. That’s what He did to me. He used the “Jeffrey-hammer”. Then I read what God told Jeremiah, “The plans I have for you are plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you HOPE and a future.” The book also said “It is vital that you stay focused on God’s plan, not your pain or problem. That is how Jesus endured the pain on the cross, and we are urged to follow his example.” This was also the time when “Passion of the Christ” was in theaters and I had just seen it, so the image of Jesus on the cross was fresh in my mind. And it seems almost too simple, too easy, but while I was reading it all made sense. My little boy and his problems were not a burden, but a blessing. I read, “God wants you to use your problems to fulfill his purposes.” And in the moment, I started weeping, I got on my knees and said YES to God. I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Savior. My anger towards God and the world disappeared and I has happy. Not fake happy, but real happy. Happier than I had ever been in my life. I could see a future for me, my family, and Jeffrey. I didn’t know what it would hold, but I felt that with Jesus in my life, it would be ok no matter what. Jeffrey was going to do great things for many people.
My eyes had been opened to the blessings that God had given us since we had gotten his diagnosis. I hadn’t noticed that so many members of this congregation that I hadn’t even met were supplying us with love, support, their time, their expertise. My world seemed brighter, like a cloud or fog had been lifted and my chest seemed lighter. I could breathe again.
Jeffrey now has full hearing in both ears, and his diagnosis has changed, but he still has special needs. Regardless of what they are, look at him now – this little boy (or man-child) loves God so much. He gets angry if we don’t come to church. He sings church songs- ALL THE TIME, and as soon as we get in the car he starts yelling – KLOVE! And he has been loved, accepted, and embraced by everyone here. When I thank people for playing or taking care of Jeffrey, they thank ME for letting him be a part of their lives. Someone said to Kami, he’s not just your child, he’s the church’s child. So much so that he was one of the inspirations for the creation of “Special Way,” the new special needs ministries here at Woodside. And as he crossed that finish line last week at Run for God, I couldn’t help but think what life would be like for not only me and my family, but also for so many people at Woodside, had those nopes, no ways, and not gonna happens not been changed to Yeps, Absolutely’s, and Amens.
When you think about it, I never really had a choice. He wasn’t going to let me say no, no matter how many times I tried, no matter how many times I put my plans before his, it was just a matter of time before my Yes would come. So I ask you brothers and sisters, stop making excuses, stop looking for a way out, stop saying No – because like the apostle Paul preached to the Corinthians – those no’s are yes’s in Christ Jesus.
